Life with friends

                                           

"Friends pick us up when we fall down, and if they can't pick us up, they lie down and listen for a while." 

You know you have true friends and have struck gold when you can call them up anytime of the day to talk, when you receive a text message of an asian bunny, and when you laugh until you cry while eating nachos at Maynard's. I honestly do not know what I'd do without my friends. They are better than boys. The ones that have stuck with me through thick and thin have kept me both happy and sane.

This summer has been both the shittiest and the best of my life. While other things have made me stressed or made me cry, they were always there to pick me up. I'm the type of person who needs to talk things out, I can't hold in my emotions as easily as some others can. Sometimes I take things a bit too personally. I also have an overanalyzing problem. When I go to my friends saying things like "What the hell did I just do?", they are there to comfort me. Day or night. I'm so lucky to have them in my life.


When I am with them, I can always count on having a good time. If anyone else ever heard our conversations they'd probably place us into a mental hospital. That's something else that I love about them. We can literally talk about anything, no matter how weird--it doesn't have to be about our problems--and not think anything of it. It's perfectly normal to us, but probably off the charts weird for any sane person. You don't even want to know.

As my friend's brother puts it: "Friendship is all about reciprocity. If you are there for them, they will be there for you." True words spoken by a 12 year old.

Picasso wannabe

I finally have time to paint. I love summer.

One more year to go

As senior year approaches, the reality of having to apply for colleges is starting to set in. I absolutely abhor this. Someone might as well be holding a sign that says "Welcome to the World of Stressmania". Especially since I'm not sure which college I want to go to and also what I want to major in. Teenage life crisis. Ever since I was 7 years old, I've wanted to be a doctor. A pulmonologist to be exact. But now I'm just not sure anymore, I'm feeling kind of lost. Cue the depressing orchestra music.

I have come to a few conclusions that might aid in my decision making though.

1. My legs turn to jelly when it comes to seeing other peoples' blood. That could be a problem if I decided to pursue medicine.
2. I hate calculus. 
3. I love little kids. Particularly preschoolers and kindergartners. They're so cute. They help make my stresses go away with their innocent and random questions. 
4. I would like to go to grad school.
5. I kind of want to be an elementary school teacher.

I realize that 4 and 5 contradict eachother, teachers probably don't need to go to grad school. Do you see my crisis now? I'm a firm believer in doing and going for whatever makes me happy. I don't want to end up spending twenty or thirty years inside an ashy gray cubicle. A good portion of this summer will need to be spent thinking about where I want to go and what I want to do. Maybe I could look into child psychology. Or pediatric radiology. I need to find something that fuses together my love for kids and my love for science and medicine. Being a teacher would be a lot of fun, but I've invested so much time into science and math courses here at the high school that it seems a shame to let all of that go to waste. What do I do?

It's stressing me out, because I feel like this will determine my entire future. I am already starting to regret the time that I have wasted in high school so far. Time that I could have spent studying, when instead I was just sitting around on facebook or talking to my friends, while wishing for the paper to hurry up and write itself or willing my pencil to just solve for x already. But since time machines haven't been invented yet, there is no way for me to change what I've already done ( or haven't done). So I'm just going to have to take what I have and apply to schools that really fit who I am and what I want to be. I can't mess this up.

So long, farewell

I hate goodbyes.

Maybe it's the bittersweet hugs and awkward small talk. I never know when it's the right time to leave or when it's the right time to start shutting the door and leading the other person out. Do I keep talking? Or just say bye and leave? But that makes it seem like I'm in too much of a rush to get away from him or her. What to do, what to do. And when it's someone you really care about, and they are leaving for a long time... Oh boy. Tears, please, dear god, stay inside my eyeballs. No? Well. Okay then. Someone pass me the kleenex. 


Saying goodbye seems so easy, so simple. But it really isn't. And there are a few goodbyes that I am dreading that are coming up. Some of my friends are leaving for college and I can't imagine high school without them. It's hitting me hard. This is the first year that close friends are leaving me. They are starting a new chapter in their lives, while I'll still be stuck here in this hell hole that they call high school. Don't get me wrong, most of my friends are in my class and will be there right beside me during senior year, but still. It won't be the same. 


I'll be okay though. 

My Summer Playlist

Whether I am picking out my clothes, cruising down the highway, or putting on my makeup, I will always be listening to music. It's a habit. Unless I'm doing homework that I really need to concentrate on or something else that requires complete focus, I will most likely be dancing and singing to some of my favorite songs. Boy, choir is really missing out by not having me in it. Just kidding, of course.

1. Ships in the Night---Mat Kearney
2. Angel With a Shotgun---The Cab
3. Pictures of you---The Last Goodnight
4. Heaven--O.A.R.
5. Closer to Love---Mat Kearney
6. When I Look Into Your Eyes---Shane Harper
7. Back to Back---The Ready Set
8. Sweet Serendipity---Lee Dewyze
9. Let Her Go---Passenger
10. Kiss Me Slowly---Parachute
11. The Wrong Direction---Passenger

If you have some time, you should check some of these out! Maybe it's not your typical music genre, but these past few weeks I've really been enjoying myself listening to these.

Here, just for fun. At least listen to this one:

Yes, I'm alive.

I miss blogging. I told myself that I would do at least one post a week, but busyness (Is that a word? No? Well it is now), and laziness have prevented me from doing that. Oh the sweet joy that comes with high school. When I'm not doing homework or wasting time, I just want to sleep. Or sit there and do nothing. Like yesterday, I went outside to study for the comp test, but ended up falling asleep on the front lawn. It felt amazing.

Also, I checked my blog stats today and it turns out that my forgiveness post from way back when I was taking comp continues to get around twenty views a week. That makes me so happy, it's almost embarrassing. Ah well.

Fashion, 2, 3, 4

I really love fashion. Or at least I love the concept. It's so mesmerizing to see how designers can put together elaborate outfits that are so unique, yet still seem to flow perfectly.

I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I am some sort of fashionista. I'm not going to act as if I know everything there is to know about fashion. It just simply fascinates me, and I want to learn more about the techniques and tricks.

I wish that I had a more unique sense of fashion. I also wish I were more creative. If you think about it, those two things could kind of go hand in hand, right? There's got to be some type of correlation. I've been struggling to find clothes that really define who I am (oh wow, how cheesy does that sound?) and are unique. As of now, I don't have a distinct style. I wear tons of different types of things. Whenever I go shopping, I try to find pieces that are unique, but it's a lot more difficult than it sounds. I don't know how hipsters do it.

How can they find clothing that suits their personality so perfectly, is so cute, and seems like one of a kind? It's frustrating for me when I spend five hours shopping, and come out with two things. There's two reasons for this. 1. I want to find the perfect clothes, and 2. I don't want to pay too much for the perfect clothes. I absolutely hate shelling out wads of cash for clothes, especially since a lot of the time they are just completely overpriced. I only make so much money. It's actually ridiculous how much some clothes cost. $67 for a T-shirt? No thanks. I have better things to do with that money.

So I'm still on the hunt for more clothing that is cute and affordable. And maybe even a bit vintage or eclectic. Eclectic. Isn't that a fun word?

Someday, when I'm in the mood, I'm going to go on a thrift store rampage. And I will find cool vintage clothing, and it will be amazing.