Forgive and Forget

When I was a little kid, my sister and I fought about anything and everything. To be honest, we still fight. It's normal sibling rivalry. But when we were younger, everything she did annoyed the crap out of me. Once when I was six and she was four, she accidentally ripped off the head of my barbie princess. That could be one of the most traumatizing things that has ever happened to me (kidding, but it was horrifying at the time). I was fuming for the next two hours, which in little kid time is basically a freaking eternity. My mom talked to me about how it was an accident, that sisters should always love each other, and that I should learn to forgive Lucy. That is the first time that I can recall learning about forgiveness.

Forgiving and ignoring are two things that some people may get confused with each other. Maybe you have heard someone say something like "I'm over it okay? I've moved on, now stop talking about it!" and then they storm away in a hurry. Or maybe they just say something like "It's forgiven okay? I'm fine." Now these people haven't actually been able to forgive what happened. They are just trying to avoid the topic. They've pushed the memory deep into the very back of their brains and vowed never to think about it again. But they won't truly be able to move on until they learn to forgive. Learning to forgive, to let go of any resentment or anger, is one of the hardest things to do.

When anger is eating away at us, it's hard to find compassion to forgive someone. We've all experienced feelings of animosity and fury; these emotions take over until it's impossible to think clearly. In order to be able to focus on more important things, you will need to let go of the hostility that has taken over your life. Once you do forgive, you will be able to embrace feelings of calmness, peace, and joy.

It takes a while to learn how to forgive and forget. At first, you are angry. You hate the person, the situation, everything about what happened. You might even kill if it weren't illegal to. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration but you get what I'm saying. Once the anger starts to fade away, you start to reflect. What really happened? What went wrong? Then you start to think. You will realize that it is not worth it to stay angry forever, and you decide to forgive.

Being able to forgive is a highly admired trait. In YES class, we were talking about a book, I cannot remember the name--this is bugging the crap out of me. Anyway, it is about an old man named Morrie (or Morry; im not sure how to spell it,) and Morrie is terminally ill. The person writing this book, looks up to Morrie as a mentor, a father figure, a role model, and he visits Morrie once a week. Morrie teaches him many life lessons, and the most important one to him is the one about forgiveness. He said that you need to let things go, because once you are lying on your death bed, these things that you are holding grudges about will not even matter. You need to forgive people and hold on to the relationships that you have formed throughout your life. They are more important than anything, and nothing should stand in the way.

Forgiveness does not come easy. When you are overcome with feelings of bitterness, vengeance, and thoughts of revenge, it's difficult to let go of those emotions and forget whatever has happened. It takes tremendous emotional strength to finally learn to forgive, but once you do, life will be much better. I realize that I sound like a fortune cookie right now. It's kind of embarrassing, but whatever.  It doesn't help anyone or anything by holding grudges. By learning to forgive, you will experience peace and be able to focus on other parts of your life more.