Decisions, decisions

After reading my friend Taylor's post When I Grow Up I realized that much of what she said describes me. I've spent quite a bit of the past few months wishing that I was done with high school, wishing that I was 18, wishing that I was already in college. When my friends who were seniors last year left for college, I remember being so jealous. I don't know why I'm so eager to grow up. Maybe it's because I want to be able to live by my own rules. Maybe it's because I can't go to a lot of concerts that I would like to because they are 18 plus. Maybe it's just because I want a change. I don't know.

Last month I was accepted to both the U of M and Madison. Ever since I got these two acceptance letters my mind has been racing back and forth, processing the pros and cons of each, imagining myself walking down either University Avenue or State Street. I'm more familiar with the U of M because I take classes there, but I also love Madison. It's the classic Gophers vs Badgers battle. 

This is one of the toughest decisions of my life. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, yet I'm being forced to make a decision that could potentially impact the way the rest of my life is going to pan out. Like Taylor said, "In high school, few will figure out who they are, some will think they figure out who they are, but most will have no idea the entire time." I'm one of those people who changes their mind once every other day. It's really quite troublesome. 

I've also been wondering what it is that I want to be doing in the future. I thought I had this all figured out. I would go to college, study chemistry, and go on to med school. Recently, I've been second guessing this path. People have been telling me that getting a bare chemistry degree will make it difficult to find jobs if I don't go on to med school--they're probably right. I could go into chemical engineering, and I actually have been thinking about it quite a bit recently, but to be honest, that's not something that I feel passionate about. And I won't allow myself to spend my life doing something that I don't enjoy. Right now, I know two things for sure: 1. I want to be able to find a job at the Children's Hospital when I grow up. 2. I want to be happy.

I guess we'll see what happens.